Accepting Everything, and How to Use It

I know I complain a lot about physical things, and I apologize. Sometimes when I stop doing and "come to the moment," I become conscious of the pain.

It's never gone, but most of the time I can distract myself enough to push awareness aside. Other times, it screams. Right now, it's howling.

My patron, St. Teresa, also complained fairly often in her letters about physical ailments. She suffered from debilitating headaches and relapsing fever. She was so ill at one point that her family took her out of the monastery for a long period of rest and healing.

So I excuse myself for not always shutting up about what hurts by looking to her example. BUT there is a critical difference: No matter how *she* suffers, whether from illness or from the obtuseness of some fellow Catholics, she NEVER FAILS to bless and thank His Majesty.

I *want* to do that, but I forget. I want the nuisances and pain to serve some purpose by being united to the Passion of Christ. Since I can't remember to make the offering each time, I make an intention to give it *all* whenever I think of it, usually by praying the Prayer of Abandonment of Bl. Charles de Foucauld.

Actually, many years ago, I pretty much wrote God a blank check. If it's in my account, it's His if he wants it. It was terrifying to make that offer. I have to say, though, that He has been unfailingly considerate, and all those grand gestures I promised Him have turned out to be mainly just enduring petty annoyances, hurtful words, being misjudged, going without at times, the ordinary strife of daily life.

Even the 24/7 pain is nothing, really. The fact that it can run in the background much of the time means that it's manageable. Real pain was having my fractured ankle reduced. (The fringe benefit of that was that, after surgeries, the morphine drip gives me the only truly pain-free moments I have known in decades. It is not a practical daily means of coping, however. 😊)

Prayer *is* pain management. Communing with God gives meaning to suffering, because it gives meaning to life. Without that connection, I am quite sure I wouldn't still be here. Intercessory prayer, in particular, transforms pain. If I  ask that their suffering be lessened, if I suffer *for* another,  my own pain is thereby tinged with joy. It becomes active, rather than merely passive.

C. S. Lewis, of course, said that pain is God's megaphone for getting our attention. I am clearly tough to reach. So I will keep praying this prayer, thanking God for everything.

But don't be surprised when I kvetch.

PRAYER OF ABANDONMENT

Father, I abandon myself into your hands. Do with me what you will. Whatever you may do, I thank you. I am ready for all, I accept all. Let only your will be done in me, and in all your creatures. I wish no more than this, O Lord. Into your hands I commend my spirit. I offer it to you with all the love of my heart, for I love you, Lord, and so need to give myself, to surrender myself into your hands without reserve, and with boundless confidence, for you are my Father. Amen.

Hermitage Adventures #1

#HermitageAdventures. Yes, it was a microwave in the box. The hugest microwave I have ever seen. It must weigh 40 pounds. Between removing the dead appliance and coaxing the new one into place, I spent the remainder of my strength for the day.

So this morning I am having TWO cups of coffee, courtesy electric kettle. Still no gas, but after digging out an electric skillet and pot, I was able to cook some rice and the hamburger I salvaged from the dead freezer.

Tonight I will make fried rice with the leftovers.

It's HOT today, so outdoor activities wait until evening. Meanwhile, laundry, making the bed with actual sheets, doing the monthly med set, and sending in documentation for the complaint about movers.

May the Blessed Bambina smile on you today!

GOP Convention: My Take of Day One

My takeaway from the GOP convention last night: both touching and surreal. I followed Zane Bardwick's recommendation and watched almost all of the convention last night on C-SPAN, where I wasn't regaled with pundit chatter and the victim of some producer's decisions on which parts to eliminate. As a result, I saw the many "real" Americans, with their moving stories, their accounts of heroism and tragedy and hope, which many times brought me to tears. Perhaps most affecting were the two heroes of Benghazi, describing the horrific events of the terrorist attack, and Sean Smith's mother, who wept as she told of losing her son, and the lies and coverup that followed from Secretary of State Clinton. Most bizarre was her saying that after the attack, no one from the State Department would answer her questions because she was not "immediate family." I'm sure I don't have to tell you parents how deeply that must have cut. I cried along with her. Awesome indeed was the speech by Sheriff David Clarke of Milwaukee County. An impassioned plea for unity, and for support of police, who are our first line of defense against anarchy. I think there should be a Federal post for nationwide law enforcement oversight, but if there were, I'd nominate this guy. The prize for unintentional comedy goes to Melania Trump, whose otherwise fairly creditable performance contained her repeated assurances that Donald is extremely "loyal." Ironic from the third wife of a man whose other marriages ended because of his infidelity. The various politicos were not so arresting. They mostly gave predictable speeches from which I can remember little. The exception was Rudy Giuliani, who did receive multiple standing ovations for his plea to respect both police and military who risk their lives to keep others safe. “When they come to save your life, they don’t ask if you are black or white. They just come to save you,” Giuliani said. The most surreal moment came when Donald Trump arrived to introduce his wife. He stood in silhouette in a blue fog for several seconds while the PA played Queen's "We Are the Champions." Then he emerged from the mist like Merlin in a sword-and-sorcery fantasy pic. It's clear that, if he's elected, press conferences will be dramatic productions. Actually, the entire evening had a surreal quality, since Trump doesn't have the support of most party conservatives. Speaker after speaker praised him, and invoked party unity, but the appeal of those who oppose him was quashed at the outset by the chairman's refusal to hear their call for a point of order. That left opponents of Trump's nomination without even the right to object, a tactic more typical of Democrats than Republicans. The spectacle that followed, with praise heaped upon Trump as the law-and-order candidate, rang rather false.

Words at Steve Young's Memorial Gathering

This is the final version of the brief words I spoke during the candlelight tribute :

Light and Death

“When he shall die,
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night
And pay no worship to the garish sun.”
― William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

Each of us is here because Steve touched our hearts and our souls. Some of his music was dark, but it was true. Carl Jung said:

"One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious. The latter procedure, however, is disagreeable and therefore not popular.”

Like his favorite author, Thomas  Wolfe,  Steve wrote mostly about the past, and its loss. But in the dark night of the soul, pain leads ultimately to light. In the waiting, however, we can be tempted to despair. In his last days, Steve flirted with the nihilistic atheism of Stephen Hawking. Another physicist was probably more accurate in Steve’s case, Edward Teller: “When you get to the end of all the light you know and it's time to step into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing that one of two things shall happen: either you will be given something solid to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly.”

Let these candles, as we light them one, represent all the gifts we have received from Steve and his music. From Leonard Cohen:

"Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.”

In the end, I  believe Steve was ready for  death, for the answers to the mystery he had sought all his life. Annie Dillard, in Pilgrim at Tinker Creek writes: “I think that the dying pray at the last not 'please,' but 'thank you,' as a guest thanks his host at the door. Falling from airplanes the people are crying thank you, thank you. Divinity is not playful. The universe was not made in jest but in solemn incomprehensible earnest. By a power that is unfathomably secret, and holy, and fleet. There is nothing to be done about it, but ignore it, or see.”

Finally, Steve simply let go and plunged into that mystery. He just let God take him: “In the tender compassion of our God, the dawn from on high shall break upon us, to shine on those who dwell in darkness, and to guide our feet into the way of peace."

Like Rosa Maria, we pray for him, in this traditional prayer for the dead:
"Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon him. May his soul, and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace."

Some quotes on death and light

“When he shall die,
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night
And pay no worship to the garish sun.”
― William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

"One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious. The latter procedure, however, is disagreeable and therefore not popular.”
― C.G. Jung

“When you get to the end of all the light you know and it's time to step into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing that one of two things shall happen: either you will be given something solid to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly.”
― Edward Teller

“Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.”
― Leonard Cohen

"I think that the dying pray at the last not 'please,' but 'thank you,' as a guest thanks his host at the door. Falling from airplanes the people are crying thank you, thank you. Divinity is not playful. The universe was not made in jest but in solemn incomprehensible earnest. By a power that is unfathomably secret, and holy, and fleet. There is nothing to be done about it, but ignore it, or see."

― Annie Dillard, Pilgrim at Tinker Creek

"Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon him. May his soul, and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace."

"In the tender compassion of our God, the dawn from on high shall break upon us, to shine on those who dwell in darkness and the shadow of death, and to guide our feet into the way of peace." Luke 1:78

Always Check the Date

I am pained to say that a couple of readers were upset by our last post, thinking it an affront to the Holy Father. I assure you, none was meant. It was merely an April Fool's jest from my all-too-satirical sense of humor. When March ends, always check the dateline of any story. And try to laugh at silliness.

Pope Francis Announces He Will Canonize the Living

Vatican, 4/1/2016---In a move to streamline the Church's procedures for making new saints, Pope Francis will begin canonizing living persons. Although a departure from the customary process, which required proven miracles and a gradual elevation to the honors of the altar, the Holy Father expects his new program to be met with universal approbation. "The new canonizations will incur far less bureaucracy and the expense of prosecuting the cause of a saint," said Father Federico Lombardi, Vatican communications director. "And dropping the requirement that the proposed saint actually be dead will render the process fairer, because it will exclude no one." Instead of a lengthy process carried on my religious communities, bishops, or other elites, the new criteria will speed up the progress by incorporating the latest technology, Lombardi said. "For the first time, the Catholic faithful will have a direct say in who becomes a saint. They will be able to vote in an online poll for their favorite candidate, living or dead," he added. As an expression of ecumenical spirit, non-Catholics will also be allowed to vote. "We are an inclusive Church," Lombardi said, "and we want our feast days to reflect that."